I bought a new leather couch recently and it was a very expensive process. But even brand new, and a sectional, it was less expensive than this $5000 Couch for sale on Craigslist. But my new couch lacks something that this couch doesn’t…jizm. For you see, the couch above was used in several films. Adult films, including “Casting Couch Whores #8” and “Let’s Bust Nuts on these Butt Sluts, Volume 7.” So, at least you know it’ll have only been exemplary ladies. You don’t just waltz into the adult film industry and get a role in the illustrious LBNotBS series without some serious acting chops and a touch of class.

[via, thanks Going Like Sixty for the tip!]

This one is a tough call for me…clearly the unpriced CRISTAL Touchscreen Coffee Table Remote is cool; via a touchscreen interface, you can control every appliance and networked device in your home as well as see live shots of your home set-up to more adequately map out the controls for each device. But at the same time, with our lives becoming so increasingly sedentary as more and more technology is created, is something so undoubtedly expensive and technologically advanced necessary? The answer: Yes, so long as it frees up more time for me to beach on the couch and eat Cheetos. Chester Cheetah waits for no man.

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Luxurious vacations are so overrated. People spend thousands just to sit out in the sun, take a couple of pictures, and ultimately have nothing to show for it. If you believe that, but still want to take a vacation, here’s a way to put your money where your mouth is: The $19 “Survivor Special” at the Rancho Bernardo Inn in San Diego. Some expensive hotel rooms come with a view or a couch or even a bowling alley, but who needs all that? With the Survivor Special, you’re limited to just a room with one light in the bathroom for “safety purposes.” Oh and hopefully you like sweating profusely but don’t like showering or using the bathroom, because the room comes bereft of A/C, towels, and toilet paper. Which would be a real step up if you’ve been trapped in Buffalo Bill’s basement for the past 5 months…though there were actually more amenities there if you count the food and lotion.

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Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, at least if we’re to believe the propagandists at Kellogg’s. But if you want anything truly delicious, it might take a while. That’s where the $3500 ChefStack Automatic Pancake Machine comes in. Designed for busy restaurants or coffee shops, but available to the general public, the ChefStack will take your pancake batter and shoot out up to 200 pancakes an hour. Perfect for a busy cook or an obese person who’s always dreamed of eating their breakfast like the episode of I Love Lucy where Lucy worked at the cherry factory.

[via, thanks Chris for the tip!]

Perhaps it’s an unreal expectation on my part, but I think Paris Hilton is smarter than she lets on to the world; she’s pretty much the first nobody to brand herself well enough that people think she’s a real celebrity. But then I see something like Paris’s $325,000 Custom Dog House and can’t help but think, “Oh. My bad.” The dog house is two stories, with the inside decorated entirely pink and comes with furniture from Philippe Starck, air conditioning, and a crystal chandellier. The bottom floor is for hanging out and, presumably, entertaining guests while the upstairs is the bedroom area as well as a closet for all of the dogs’ clothing. More importantly, this dog house is more valuable than over 70% of the full-sized homes of the country. Quite an accomplishment for a house in which the occupants are likely to defecate on the floor at any given moment. Typically that’d fly only in Kentucky.

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