Who hasn’t dreamed of mailing a box full of feces to someone you hate? Well, what about doing it for someone you love? Meet the $15 Poop Parcels. For that minimal cost, you can mail someone you love (or hate) the gift of crap. Only it’s not real crap, because that’d just be terrible, but a coated chocolate designed to look just like crap. With a card featuring all sorts of poop puns for to celebrate any occasion, what person wouldn’t go nuts over this corny bit of chocolate heaven?

[via]

The most expensive alcohol I had come across prior to today was the $225,000 Tequila Ley .925. But now, thanks to the Diamond-filtered Diva Vodka by Blackwood Distillers, valued at $1 million, I can see the Tequila Ley for the guttural hobo wine that it is. Like the Tequila Ley, the real value of the alcohol comes from the jewels inside. If I owned a liquor store and you came up to me asking for a $1 million bottle of vodka, I would go into the back, pour some Georgi into a bottle filled with Lucky Charms, then punch you in the stomach and take your money. I think we’ll have both learned an important life lesson that day.

[via, thanks Lauren for the tip!]

Being unbelievably wealthy is a lifestyle choice that goes beyond needlessly expensive products. Many wealthy women are in unbelievable shape due to the finest trainers and dietitians in the world. Or perhaps you can credit their $345 Hermès Apple carrier. It’s exactly what it sounds like, a bag to carry your day’s apple with such stunning features as a knife to cut the aforementioned apple. If your doctor ever accuses you of not getting your apple a day during a check-up, you can shove this bag in his face and yell, “I TRIED DAMN YOU! OH HOW I TRIED!” before running out of the room in tears. That’d show him.

[via, thanks Laurie for the tip!]

I’m not even sure how to set this one up because it might be the most worthless item we’ve featured here thus far.  These are Gold Pills, designed by Tobias Wong and selling for $429.  It’s unclear if they’re just for decoration or if they’re for consumption, though they consist of typically edible 24k gold leafs.  One dose of these pills will finally give your excrement a tangible value equal to the emotional value you’ve placed on it for years.

[via, thanks Kim for the tip!]

Typically food serves a couple of purposes: Indulging one’s desires or fueling the human body. But how about the world’s most expensive dessert? That’s the Diamond Fruit Cake, made by a Japanese chef and valued at $1.65 million dollars. It’s edible but you’ll have to remove about 225 diamonds first. Because you know what sucks about dessert? How you don’t have to pick thousands of sharp little objects out of them before eating. Thanks Japanese guy!

[via]