This one is a tough call for me…clearly the unpriced CRISTAL Touchscreen Coffee Table Remote is cool; via a touchscreen interface, you can control every appliance and networked device in your home as well as see live shots of your home set-up to more adequately map out the controls for each device. But at the same time, with our lives becoming so increasingly sedentary as more and more technology is created, is something so undoubtedly expensive and technologically advanced necessary? The answer: Yes, so long as it frees up more time for me to beach on the couch and eat Cheetos. Chester Cheetah waits for no man.

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What you see pictured above looks like an ordinary, attractive diamond. And at $8700 per carat for a canary cut diamond by Memorial Diamonds, it’s fairly close to market value. But the secret ingredient in making the diamonds is love. And by love, I mean the love you have for a relative, spouse, or pet because this diamond is made with the ashes of your loved one. With a process that involves creating a raw diamond crystal using the carbon from your cremated ashes, then cutting and polishing it, you can make a diamond with the same properties as a natural one with the power of science. Which is great, because I was really feeling as though my diamonds don’t have nearly enough dead guy in them.

[via, thanks Delia for the tip!]

Perhaps it’s an unreal expectation on my part, but I think Paris Hilton is smarter than she lets on to the world; she’s pretty much the first nobody to brand herself well enough that people think she’s a real celebrity. But then I see something like Paris’s $325,000 Custom Dog House and can’t help but think, “Oh. My bad.” The dog house is two stories, with the inside decorated entirely pink and comes with furniture from Philippe Starck, air conditioning, and a crystal chandellier. The bottom floor is for hanging out and, presumably, entertaining guests while the upstairs is the bedroom area as well as a closet for all of the dogs’ clothing. More importantly, this dog house is more valuable than over 70% of the full-sized homes of the country. Quite an accomplishment for a house in which the occupants are likely to defecate on the floor at any given moment. Typically that’d fly only in Kentucky.

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Many designers sacrifice the functionality of their products to focus on the artistic design aesthetics. Sang-Jang Lee’s Blob Heater, price unlisted, looks to achieve both. The Blob Heater is a personal heater, basically a mushy and posable type of beanbag, that also provides heat, designed to simulate the experience of laying down with another human being. Oh, also, it looks like a sperm. At 240”x25”x25”, it’d have to be the sperm of the Jolly Green giant, but a sperm nonetheless. An explanation for when someone walks in on you lying on the floor with your warm, giant sperm is not included in the purchase price.

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The handsome fellow you see above is the Steiff 125-Karat Bear, price unlisted, which was created for the legendary teddy bear company’s 125th anniversary.  Golden threads are knotted into the quality silk and mohair fur, which match his eyes, made of sapphire cabochons, surrounded by diamonds and placed in a yellow gold setting.  To top it off, he has a 24-karat gold button on his ear, because obviously he’d just look ridiculous without a bit of jewelry.  But in spite of the money put into making this fancy fancy bear, I can’t help but notice his creepy lifeless eyes staring back at me, like a trophy wife who fell in love with our lavish lifestyle but never quite fell in love with me.  Not like Teddy Ruxpin.  He wasn’t the best listener, but we could talk for hours.  Come back to me Teddy!  Come baaaaaack *sob sob*.

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